Entry #2

To Heal or Be Healed

Time flies by like the blink of an eye. 3 years ago I began my healing journey unwillingly. I decided to focus on myself, and most certainly abstain from anything that would tear me away from this journey because it was personal. I learned to be alone, I learned to trust my intuition, and alongside all of this I found out I was a psychic medium.

Since finding this out my life changed forever.

To confirm my psychic abilities, I was led to a local psychic who told me that I was a psychic medium. I felt crazy, but with her expressing to me that my abilities would only grow stronger and my purpose in this world is so much bigger, I learned everything I know now regarding spirituality, from her.  She was a great teacher, and her purpose was to teach me so that I could teach others and here we are. Meeting her was meant to happen and I’m happy it did happen.

As a child I loved watching Charmed, the Ghost Whisperer, and in the back of my mind I knew witches, ghosts, psychics were real, but never believed I would be one. Throughout this blog I may use words like “energy” or “spirit/s”  or “I heard”. By using these words, it’s the best way I can explain what life is like as a psychic because majority of it is seeing, feeling, and hearing.

My psychic abilities began while in a relationship that wasn’t the best for me. They grew stronger day by day because God knew, that if I did not obtain my abilities when I did, my life would be somewhere else entirely and not for the better. I was 24 at this time.

The first round of my abilities came in as premonitions, non stop “dreams” of people I know, or know of and what will happen in their lives or even my own. The dreams would come in back to back and eventually I started a dream journal that I still write in til this day. I still receive premonitions til this day. But things took a turn, my ex at the time, was covered in so much negative energy that I didn’t know I was absorbing until I was mirroring his behavior. Sleeping all day like he did, being unmotivated to do what I love because I was so focused on his well being, and truly wanting his family to like me even though I knew deep down I wasn’t meant to be who they wanted me to be. Outside of mirroring his energy, he was also covered in the energy of death. So many people passed that he knew at this time. Little did I know two people connected to him wanted to speak to me.

Before this, I was in the shower at my exes house and while singing Mariah Carey I heard “condoms”. I stopped what I was doing and questioned what I heard for a second before getting out the shower and going on a hunt for condoms. My ex was leaving to go out of town the next day and he had a red duffel bag on the bed that I never went through, til this day I wish I did because I would’ve left sooner. He packed condoms in that bag with the intention of cheating on me.  Instead though, I checked this bag of condoms he randomly had in the room but it seemed lighter than usual, because initially there were so many condoms in there before. To top it off, he randomly came downstairs and asked me if I was going through his bag and I shook my head no. This was also a tale tell sign that he was up to no good.

I spent a ton of time in his space, so much that I was barely home. Nearly every night I stayed over his house, little did I know at the time, there was a strong energy of a spirit watching me waiting for the perfect time to communicate. Every night I stayed over there I woke up between the hours of 2am-5am and strongly felt someone watching me. It got to the point where my sleep and paranoia was skyrocketing and I eventually couldn’t sleep. One day I spoke outwardly because I was exhausted and told whoever it was to come forward in a way that wouldn’t scare me because I felt strongly it was someone close to him.

Days later….

I started to fall asleep in his bed but it felt different. My body was asleep but my mind was awake. Kind of like sleep paralysis (which I’ve never experienced) but honestly and truly I was awake and this was my first encounter with a spirit and of course not the last, this kick started it all. Two people spoke to me, I knew it was real because the conversation was so organic, yet, I personally don’t know these people. But they knew to come to me. One of the people was his cousin, who died tragically weeks prior, he talked to me about the dynamic of his family, and understanding my worth, knowing that some things just aren’t worth fighting for or sticking around for because it won’t change anything. The people I was up against were going to forever turn their back on me and make me feel like an outsider because I wasn’t meant to be there. He also mentioned to me that conversations about me were being had and my ex was apart of these conversations talking about me to his family. I didn’t understand the message fully until I eventually broke up with my ex.

The last person who came to me in this dynamic was his friend. Who also died tragically years prior. The only thing this friend told me, was to tell my ex that “tough times don’t last forever”. Once I spoke to both of these individuals I woke up the next day so confused and since then, I’ve had non stop encounters with spirits.

I talked to my ex about these encounters and he believed I was crazy and even a bit of a liar but that’s neither here nor there. As time passed I was shown over and over again why this person and I weren’t meant to be together. The day I chose to finally let go, let me tell you, it’s been a nonstop evolution of growth.

Today. I speak to so many people, guiding them and having some very interesting conversations with their passed loved ones. I love my job. I love my purpose. I say this to say, heal or be healed. To heal on your own is a beautiful thing, however, in my case God pushed me to be in a different space and mental capacity to be healed, so that I could heal others. I’m not saying being 100% healed, I’m saying to correct certain toxic portions  of myself. If you are in a season of isolation take it as a blessing. There’s been so many times, even today, that I’ve been taken away from what I thought I knew or needed, and placed in a season of reflection for understanding.

Renewal of self is acceptance of a future stronger self. Who cares about what others think of you.

Every portion of my life has been experienced to eventually share and teach others. To those that are reading this, there’s so much more to life than what’s on the surface. Heal your mind, trust your intuition, and explore your gifts for the better. I know that I’m here to push people to their true selves, their true purpose, and I’m here to heal those who can’t heal themselves.

Start your journey, whether it’s the first time or 100th, you won’t regret. The person you are now will thank you in the future.