Entry #4
Walk By Faith Not By Sight
Every love story in romance books generally has the same story line. There is a single female who is living her best life, and then one day, she runs into the love of her life. The turn in most romance books typically is centered around fear. The woman may fear how deeply she is falling for this man and may run, and in the end they realize that they are better together rather than apart.
Our love story is somewhat similar to that, but let’s break it down from the beginning. One night in January 2024, I felt this strong energy of a person I never met before. I randomly began hearing and seeing his characteristics and decided to write them all down in my notes.
Inserts notes:
Little did I know, I would be coming in contact with this man 2 weeks after my birthday 27th ended. We met at our workplace, a daycare, and at the time I was the supervisor/ director running the place. I got a call that a man was interested in interviewing to become a daycare teacher and I was super excited until it was time to call. I was given the phone number and then his name which is “Jay”.
Jay? Literal signs of nervousness immediately hit my spine as I was working my way up to call him. Why am I so nervous? I talk to people all the time both male and female and never felt like this before. But this was entirely different. I finally called and hearing his voice, sent a wave of familiarity over me. Have we met before? Couldn’t have, I would’ve remembered.
I schedule the interview and as soon as I met him face to face I realize not only how attractive he is, but his mannerisms were something that was new to me. He just felt different compared to those I dated in the past or even got to know. How he carried himself literally matched the energy of the man I felt in January. But of course, me being in my head, I said to God, “if this is the man for me, please show me a sign” (remember this statement). I will admit, I am a hopeless romantic but seriously, I love that about myself. I love the anticipation of what love has to offer. It’s so beautiful and full of wonder you and your person can explore together. How is that not admirable, or even exciting?
Fast forward to two months later…
Jay has come to the center multiple times at this point, filling out paperwork, and us just having deep insightful general conversation, no filtration really, it’s casual conversation about our values, the world, the list just goes on. I did have his phone number around this time as well and it was still professional of course. As he began working, this intense energy started to build. We work together great professionally, communicate, utilized team work etc. This one particular day I really needed some nature TLC and mentioned out loud how I was going to see a waterfall over the weekend. I thought nothing of it. That following week he asked me how it went and I was shocked because it showed he does pay attention to things insightfully.
July came around and around the 4th he asked me if I wanted to come to a cookout. I was still shy and hiding my feelings because I was still trying to figure out how I can be so connected to someone I just met. I turned it down and instead chilled with my best friend at the time. We did tarot readings and in mine it was mentioned that I was entering a period of happiness in my life and I may even end up pregnant. I laughed this off because huh?
Week after week, day after day there was something new that God would place in my eyesight to answer what I asked of him to show me. One of the most craziest moments was a parent walked in one day, and asked to speak to me. Of course, me being the supervisor I figured it was about the kids but it wasn’t. She pulled me to the side and told me, God placed it on her heart to tell me that “he was my soulmate”. She mentioned walking into the building and seeing the both of us interact sent chills down her spine, she could feel the love. But of course me being me, I shrugged it off. Until I couldn’t.
Synchronicities onward.
#1 Jay is a visionary, he is an artist (writes music, makes visuals, and is really great at honestly everything. He is multitalented
#2 444 was a synchronicity that kept coming up when we were beginning to form our relationship. I asked him what time it was multiple times he would say it’s 4:44. The first time I came over his house (we will talk about this) he had Jay’z’s album 4:44 plastered on the wall
#3 He enjoys watching shows, from Family Guy to of course South Park
#4 He has terrible eyesight (sorry babe), one day at the center a random man came in “accidentally” and mentioned that he didn’t mean to come to this plaza but he felt God sent him there. He offered free eye exams, we worked with kids so he advertised that first. But in the midst of this conversation I asked him if he also did exams for adult too and he states yes, so of course I pushed Jay to get his eyes checked. He now wears glasses finally but hates them and would most certainly prefer contacts.
#5 He has a Leo moon, and til this day this energy continues to stand out the most to me when it comes to him, especially in leadership positions
#6 He’s 5’10
#7 He was born here but also has history of living down south. I too use to live down south and his area code was similar to my last phone number
#8 Rod Wave-Street Runner song, I went over Jay’s house for the first time and asked him if he listened to Rod Wave, he said “not really, he is too depressing” he continued to flip through his recently watched videos because he was looking for something and this song popped as recently watched. He was just as shocked as I was.
#9 Meeting my future in laws for the first time, we spoke about our story and they mentioned wanting another grandchild preferably “ a girl” Jay and I laughed about it. But my bonus son (our oldest) mentioned wanting a little brother. Little did we know, that night became a reality that shifted our relationship to the next level.
#10 Cardinals everywhere
Eventually feelings began to brew and there was no hiding them, I was going back and forth with myself and wasn’t sure if I should or shouldn’t go hang out with him after work. We honestly continued to get to know each other and eventually it led to our first everything together, including our first date. When Jay and I established that we had feelings for one another publicly, a tower moment came (big shift in our lives). The establishment we worked at was no longer serving us, my best friend and I at the time were no longer friends, and guess what…
I found out I was pregnant.
This is the beginning of our story, and there’s so many chapters that have yet to be unlocked. Since being with Jay I learned to trust myself and have faith more than ever. I say this because since he came into my life I realized, life before him was being controlled by external factors and that just wasn’t how I envisioned my life to be. We only get one life, the opinions of others truly don’t matter. And another thing, God sends you what you need in your life, not what you want.
In order for you to expand into the next chapter of your life, it comes with letting go of things you didn’t think you had to. In this case for me it was the workplace, my friend, and my mindset. Since then, God has done nothing but bless me over and over again and continues to. I am blessed, I am happy, and I am currently living in a prayer. This relationship has changed my life forever. Sometimes in the moment when things are happening it doesn’t make sense, but God always reveals why in the future.
