Entry #6
The Beauty of Life
Since becoming a mother, my life has changed for the better. I took the time before having a baby to get to know myself, figure out what I liked, traveled a little, was single for two years, and experienced a ton of new places and things. Pregnancy and birth came so rapidly it’s like a blink of an eye.
Finding out I was pregnant felt so unbelievable. But would you believe me if I told you, I felt I would be pregnant three weeks before I conceived? Once I found out I was pregnant, the only panic I had was timing. I wasn’t even dating my partner for a month yet. Everything was new with us, and this was a huge risk. Looking back at it, I’m so happy I listened to my intuition because trusting timing, and the Divine, gave me this beautiful life. The family that I’ve created is the best thing that has happened to me in 2025.
The first three months of my pregnancy were a bit challenging, but personally it was more so outside things creating stress and annoyance. Unnecessary drama attempted to make a permanent residence in my life and I will say, thank God it didn’t. The drama was coming from people I once considered home, I once considered a safe space, and their efforts to turn people against me, make up lies about my relationship and me as a person, it all was just too much. I’ve had an entire family against me before, but they kept their personal opinions sacred. However their energy told no lies. With this situation, it was purposeful, they wanted to tear me down, make me feel bad about myself, and intentionally create chaos to make themselves feel and look better. All of this was because I chose to be with my current partner. I quit my job because I had another opportunity lined up that would give me more financial stability. I was super excited about my pregnancy and told some people, who still check on us today) about it because this was Gods blessing. To those I didn’t tell about it, eventually found out but used this precious information to try and ruin my experience.
Everything regarding the drama, was not only toxic but obsessive. To speak about it, even today makes me cringe. Sometimes you may think you know people but you don’t. But also, this situation has taught me to listen to people around me. Be more aware and see the signs. I was warned prior to this happening to me and I didn’t listen. I now understand why God has to unleash the true nature of those around me during my most vulnerable moments, because without that wake up call, I wouldn’t have moved my feet.
The attempt to ruin my first pregnancy wasn’t enough to ruin it because what God has for you, can never be taken or shifted by another person’s negativity. Til this day, this energy is unbelievable, but it’s our story. I will never understand why people behave the way they do, but I know I’m in charge of my own actions and emotions. I never did confront these people the way I wanted to. The reason I didn’t was because there is no talking to people of this nature. I’ll continue to pray for them all positive things as well as pray that they choose to heal parts of them that felt like this was okay. And with situations like this, silence is power. It speaks for you especially when you know, you’ve done nothing but move positively and intentionally.
Take these experiences for what they are. Lessons. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You truly live and you learn. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to never allow a person or people so much control over your decisions/ mindset, that they believe that controlling you is a form of care and protection. When it gets to this extent it isn’t.
Birth is a beautiful experience. It’s meant to be shared with those you love most. And I’m just so happy about how this entire experience turned out and is continuing on. Preeclampsia was very scary and even now I’m still battling a bit of hypertension. But with healing comes time. I’m so grateful for my son. I’m also really grateful for my partner. The family I prayed for is now a reality and it’s so beautiful.
Everything up to this point has taught me to live in my truth and live in my power. With having this mindset comes accepting people who are showing you who they are. In a lot of cases, such as this one, some things don’t need to be explained. I’m so done with explaining my side of the story to people who have already made their mind up pertaining to how they choose to see me. So be it. I’m no one’s “yes woman” anymore just to be accepted and seen. I’m okay walking alone and attracting what’s for me by being myself authentically. I’ve truly learned I am enough. I walk to the beat of my own drum and make decisions that are right for me, without looking for these answers from anyone else.
So much can change in a year, a month, even a week. Never think your life is too constant for changes. A single moment. A single decision. Can change your life forever and for the better.
Now let’s talk about turning twenty eight…
